The element of time in my life is interesting. I don't know where it comes from or where it goes. Days, weeks, months, years come and go; where do they go?
I will have been here, where I currently live, for ten years next month. Ten years! That is the longest I've been in one place since I left home. Ten years--disappeared! Why don't I feel a loss, a panic, like most people my age? I do not know. My years are as full as I can cram them, and I always look forward to the next, unknown, part of my life.
It is accepting the unknown element of time that has molded me to be me and which, in years ahead, will mold me to be me. Time has never allowed me to be the same. From the beginning of each day to its end, I change. Thus, I cannot possess myself. I can only learn to know, accept, and live with myself.
Time, in this sense, is a teacher, a giver of life, of experience and opportunities. What I make of them is up to me. I hope I have done time justice with what I have learned and with its application. I hope I will do time justice and age gracefully, with dignity and wisdom. And most of all, I hope time is a good and exciting to you as it has been and is to me. For if our time is but a second, my life is richer because I took a walk in the sunshine with you who shared a little of yourself with me.
Only in Time
Years have passed since you and I lived together in this desert country, and we are no longer as we were then. Our paths will not again be parallel because we have changed, like afternoon shadows creeping toward evening. The years, however, have not dimmed the memories that add a distant loneliness, a distant emptiness to the surrounding desert, for you are with my now only in time.
©chris maser 2000. All rights reserved.